Boredom.

The feeling I've been dealing with mostly lately is boredom. I feel bored, practically all the time. And I know there's the whole deal about 'only boring people get bored' and you have to create your own fun, blah blah, but it's difficult for me. Somedays I feel that I'm not in an enough of an intellectually stimulating environment. I don't feel my brain expanding or anything changing in me. So I hardly attend lectures because I find them dull and repetitive. And seminars, those are compulsory but even those I find hard to attend. I just sit there and think 'what the hell am I here for?'

I'm not sure if this has something to do with the change I've undergone lately: I've stopped believing in everything I have happily accepted before. Morality, ethics, a great purpose...

Most nights I find myself on the windowsill smoking my cigarettes and listening to music. And going out there and doing something just feels so purposeless. I mean it's not like I don't have things to do. I am buried in assignments and courseworks right now, and then there's people who I have been neglecting I admit, and the cinema, and everything else. But I just sit here instead. And I write too. I am writing my novel, which right now feels better than ever. I have come such a long way. When I started it I was a confused fourteen year old, and here I am now, practically an adult, and so much of it makes sense and I finally know where I'm going with it. It's been 5 years!

But still, boredom is like an illness you need to cure I guess. Over and over again.

Boredom, do you think it's a sickness?